Monday, February 24, 2014

For Better "Back" and For Worse "Back"

I started feeling lumbosacral back pain in Mid-January of this year and it has never left me since that time. I find it hard to sit or stand for long periods and I find it painful to bend.   I felt like Paul asking the Lord to remove the thorn in my flesh and I felt myself responding the way he did - the Lord's grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness.

Last month also, Alvin had his ortho check up and was diagnosed to have rheumatoid arthritis.  I am afraid I have it too because the very symptoms I have are the very symptoms Alvin had when his back pain started four years ago.  Being a homeschooling mom, I took that as an opportunity to teach the kids the pathophysiology of the disease.  lol. But this is not about that.

Just this month,  the Lord impressed in my heart that He allowed me to have this pain because He wants me to feel what my husband feels.  In the many years that Alvin had his back pain, I have never truly empathized with him because he always appeared strong and able. He played basketball even better than when he was younger.  He always carried the heavy stuff at home and helped me whenever he can without complaints.  I felt the Lord telling me that He wants me to feel what my husband feels.  He wants me to remember praying for Alvin most especially in times I am in pain and to be more understanding when he seems tired.

Alvin said maybe the Lord removed some of his pain and transferred them to me because I am his help meet.  The thought of that brought me joy because I feel that I am able to share his burden.

As I was reading Nehemiah 9 this morning, I was reminded to focus on God's goodness and His greatness rather than the physical discomforts I feel.  I would like to focus on the many blessings He showers us, indeed there are many.

"You alone are Lord, You have made the heavens, The heavens of heavens with all their hosts, The earth and all that is on it. The seas and all that is in them.  You give life to all of them.  And the heavenly host bows down before You." (Nehemiah 9:6 NASB)

That is who my God is.  He is a big God and my pain is but a speck.  I thank Him for these discomforts because it made me look forward to the glorified body He will give me in the future.  I thank Him for this pain because through this, I feel more connected with my husband.  I would gladly share his pain - for better "back" or worse "back", ' til death do us part.

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