Monday, March 21, 2011

Appreciating Your Mate

Written on February 26, 2008

I found a letter I wrote for Alvin back in 2004 when I was still pregnant with Aethan. I wrote it as part of our ‘couples devotional’ (Home builders couples series - Building Your Mates Self Esteem by Dennis and Barbara Rainey) but never had the chance to transfer it on paper and give it to him.  Yesterday, during our ‘bonding time’, I read it to him and we both laughed about it, going back in time again, cherishing all the experiences we have had.

It is very important for couples to appreciate each other not just by actions but most especially by words.  This is specially true for couples who have been married for a while because they have the tendency "to become callous or insensitive to the effects that words have" on their mate.   "The words you speak to your mate have the potential to strengthen or poison your mate’s self esteem(Rainey)."  This is very important to me because ‘words of apprciation’ fill my husband’s love tank.

written in early 2004
(all of it still hold true except the one that pertains with my pregnancy - i.e. tummy support)

For my Abintot:
Thank you for the text messages
although forwarded, I know you meant it for me.
Thank you for reminding me to wear my tummy support.
I know you want to be sure Aethan and me are safe.
Thank you for bringing an extra pen in your bag
because you know I’ll forget to bring mine.
Thank you for fixing the bed every morning
because you know I’m lousy at folding the sheets.
Thank you for not watching the  late news anymore
because you want to spend as much time with me and Riel.
Thank you for assisting me in preparing Riel’s milk every morning
even if you still want to sleep.
Thank you for the incoherent responses
when I speak to you during your sleep.
It shows how much you want us to talk.
Thank you for eating and appreciating
even the simplest meal I prepare.
It shows how much you value me.
Thank you for sharing sorry even if it wasn’t your fault.
It shows how much you want this relationship to work.
Thank you for the unfinished cards you brought for me.
It shows how much you try to write me a letter.
Thank you for pricking the blisters on my feet,
removing my white hair and even the hair on my armpit. 
It shows how much you accept all of me.
Thank you for the farts that you do not fear to share.
It shows how comfortable we are with each other.
Thank you for giving up a dream of financial bounty
in a foreign land in exchange for our family’s togetherness.
It shows the sacrifice you can do for us.
Thank you for saying I’m beautiful when I’m sleeping
even with my eyes and mouth open.
It shows how much you adore me.
Thank you for Riel, my little Alvin.
He is a constant reminder 
of your love and God’s faithfulness.
There is so much to be thankful for
and I can add a hundred more to the list.
I just want you to know that I appreciate

I am very much thankful …
for I already have you…
My Abintot, my God’s best.

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